Reminiscences of better times
by Kyana-Morgaine
Summary: AU/EU: Seven years after EpiI. While Darth Sidious is trying to bring down the Republic, Chancellor Palpatine finds himself in some trouble...of personal kind. R&R Updated 8/27!
1. Personnae dramatis and prologue

**Reminiscences of better times**

* * *

**Personnae dramatis:**

**Palpatine: our well-known and beloved chancellor; former senator of Naboo  
Mon Mothma: senator of Chandrila  
Padme Naberrie Amidala: senator of Naboo; former queen  
Bail Organa: senator of Alderaan  
Anakin Skywalker: Jedi Padawan  
Master Obi-Wan Kenobi: Anakin's mentor and teacher  
featuring: Wilhuff Tarkin, Sate Pestage, Armand Isard and a few well-known people of the SW Universe**

* * *

**PROLOGUE**

_Privacy is something I personally don't need.  
Of course I wouldn't feel save if anyone does now about my private life, so this is why I have none.  
Politics is my life!  
- Chancellor Palpatine; interview with Gail Resom from Galactical Post_

It was late in the afternoon and sun already had started to sunk. Clouds were coming from the poles and it probably would start to rain within the next hours.  
But this was nothing the Chancellor was interested in. Although it was already late and most of his staff had gone home, he was still working on several speeches. His last appointment was set on 22nd hour and would not end before midnight.

It did not bother him...

There was no other life than that one he was already living...


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter I**

_This _was definitively not his understanding of a relaxed and pleasurable evening. Absolutely not!

Normally he asked his aides to only set informal meetings for the late evenings, but this time someone in his staff had not seen the importance of the subjects he and the Senators were about to decide. These subjects needed a clear head, and not one that just was about to call his ride to get home!

Well, but now there was no way out; he was stuck here in his office and the delegation was just waiting outside to get the allowance to enter his rooms.

This would cost him at last another hour, probably even two before he was able to quit work. Exercising in Sith Technique would not stand his time schedule today he presumed sighing. He was really looking for some time off, unnoticed of course, so he could make it to the Works for training with his lightsaber or at last his condition.

He had not been in the Works since his last meeting with Count Dooku; but he had at least worked out in his private training room at night, after days of hard, stressy work when he should catch some sleep. So he had been very tired in his office the days after working out; in a bad mood he was forced to do not show anyone at all.

He never showed his real feelings to an audience. If he showed feelings they were faked in most cases. He was always well prepared for official shows that included any audience.

Cos Palpatine would have made a good actor if he would not have chosen the opportunity to become a politician in his early years of life. Sometimes he was really frustrated about the decisions he had taken, but it had been his duty as Sith Lord to fulfil his destiny. And his destiny was to throw the Jedi Order apart. The Sith had waited for this very moment hundreds and hundreds of years, and this moment of overthrowing and revenge was coming nearer and nearer. Indeed it was very close,…if telling from all the decades of waiting.

Pestage, his aide, secretary and friend led the delegation in. It was much to his surprise a very small one, just including Bail Organa of Alderaan and newly elected Mon Mothma of Chandrila.

He got up from his seat to welcome them openly.

"Welcome, my fellow senators. I must say I'm surprised it is just you who are coming from your delegation."

Bail Organa and Mon Mothma bowed greeting.

"Well, I must excuse my fellow companions for not accompanying us to this appointment, but I assure you, your Excellency, we're trusted by them to speak for them."

"Very well then. I'd been reading through the texts you'd sent me already, and,…well I agree we need to help…"

His comlink gave a warning sound and disturbed the meeting. Palpatine gave the senators an excusing look and answered the comlink at once. Indeed it was an urgent matter he had to deal with.

"I sadly must quit this appointment, Senators, but I got message that two worlds have also split from the republic and openly joined the Separatists."

"Which worlds?" Mothma asked alarmed.

"The message isn't classified yet so I can't tell you more than this simple information, I beg your pardon. As soon as I learn more about it I'll convoke the senate immediately.

Palpatine sighed deeply after Mothma and Organa had already left his office. Surely both would head for their homes now while he was still forced to not leave the office.

"Perhaps a stimtea will lighten up your mood, eh?" Pestage poured him a cup of the hot stimulating liquid, but Palpatine refused to take just one sip.

"Appearingly not."

"I could arrange some…_companionship_…for the night for you."

Again Palpatine sighed. Pestage was always caring for him, but this matter was even yet too personal for his most trusted aide and friend. Pestage had often offered him a prostitute from a quiet brothel. Palpatine had always refused, but one time. It had ended in a disaster. The poor girl was now one with the Works. Sadly.

"No, I don't need _companionship _in any kind tonight. I suppose I won't leave the building either, but stay here in my rooms and work."

"I'll ready the bedroom for you then."

"You can leave then. I won't need your services tonight. Good night."

"Good night, Chancellor."

Pestage bowed and left the office to ready the bedroom in the private quarters that were also a part of Palpatines office rooms in the senate and left afterwards for the night.

The Chancellor had matters to attend to, but kept not moving in his chair. He loved this silence when everyone except him,…and his lifeguards, had left the building. It was peaceful.

This peace was a lie.

_He_ was a lie.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

He had fallen asleep for the first time long after midnight at his desk. With an aching back he woke up from his nap and decided tiredly to leave for his bed where he had soon fallen back into his nightmares again.

At the 6th hour of the morning Sate Pestage knocked as always on the door when the Chancellor had spent the night at his office working on urgent matters. Inside a sleepy individual tried to hide under his sheets for another few minutes of sleep or at least napping. But duty was calling and the Chancellor could not aware of losing time or being late for his appointments. Not, if he wanted to be re-elected for another term soon.

Senators were not that forgiving, especially not if you let them wait for a simply appointment in the very early morning. So he finally made it out of bed to hurry in his bathroom for a refreshing shower and later on for a small cup of coffee between overseeing today's' schedule and the daily meeting with his staff members. As often, no regular breakfast or what was worth the meaning. Sadly caffeine did not pushed him up any longer, so he had to really concentrate on the issues a lot.

Probably there was a slight hint of a possibility to slip out from office early in the evening today to get home and fall asleep at once.

* * *

Sometimes he was wondering if it was really necessary to be present at _any _social activities the senate organised. As there were the senate balls. Six per season, opening this evening at the great senate hall, just around the corner of the senate rotunda.

He had often tried to refuse coming but went there every time nonetheless since his advisors made it clear to him to be present at such events as well. For him it was a personal nightmare to _great and meet _the ones on a social, probably private basis he used to work with. But allies did interpret a lot in such _events_.

_I won't stay longer than necessary! Leaving at 22__nd__ hour will do; no more, no less!_

After his last appointment has left his office he sent a few of his staff to finish work. Only a few of his closest advisors would accompany him to tonight's event. They were his official company since he never had female company with him. Of course he had had _relationships _with women when he had become chancellor, but none of them lasted long enough to show his girlfriend to the public. He so kept his former relationships hidden and a secret and the women also kept silent. It was a _certain_ arrangement…

In public he was seen conservative and appearingly asexual,…some also were wondering if the chancellor was maybe gay. Of course he was not, but better let them guessing about his _non-existing _private life as a media who snooped around in his relationships.

Sighing he made his way to his dresser in his private rooms within the walls of the office. After a short visit to the bathroom and a check into the mirror he changed clothes and then looked up and down his appearance in the mirror. He was not conceited, but it was necessary nowadays, especially in his job, to look as best as possible. Vanity…_a Sithlord doesn't fall for vanity._

Another deep sigh went over his thin bloodless lips. He had other, more important things to do and organize than standing unproductive on a corner of a crowded hall having small talk with some senators of an unimportant Outer Rim World.

"Ready my transport home at the 22nd hour, Sate" he whispered towards his most trusted advisor when they left the Chancellor's Office to go these few steps down to the Great Hall where the Senate Ball took place.

"Of course. Any other arrangements for tonight?" Pestage asked in the same low tone.

"Well, no. I just plan to catch some sleep, so please don't let any calls in."

"As you wish, Chancellor. Tomorrow's first meeting is rescheduled" he informed the Chancellor, "it was said Senator Viento became seriously ill."

"Seriously ill? What's that supposed to mean? Did his staff tell you?"

"They didn't, but I got known to information that just an hour ago an ambulance had taken the Senator from his apartment to the nearest med-centre. Until now no further information were given neither to the records nor to your office. I'll see what I might find out…"

"No, Sate, leave that to Kinman. I'm sure his old connections to the higher ranks of the medical facilities might be helpful to us in this case."

"Sure, they do" agreed Pestage and nodded into Kinman Dorianas direction who already knew what his eventually mission could be and now was. Both advisors had been working for Palpatine since he had become Senator of Naboo. Pestage had even worked for him when he had only been one of the King's advisors back on his homeworld. All three of them grew very close, but the connection between Palpatine and Pestage was even deeper than the one to Doriana.

_Sate knows who I am…and I can fully trust him. Even with my life! Although I would never do it, but it feels safe I probably could…_

A last sigh. Enter the lovely Chancellor.

This stage was now his!


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Why was he not able to remember how he made it home and to bed yesterday…or his morning?

All he could remember was a boring evening, with lots of useless chats, shaking hands and smiling around. Playing the good and beloved Chancellor. And trying not to fall asleep or even worse, to yawn in front of any senator.

He had found himself surrounded by a few senators with their wives or lovers and had to stand again those annoying questions about his private life he had never answered and will not answer in the future. He had just smiled politely and remembered the group of people that he was not willing to open his private life to publicity, even if he would have one.

He earned a good laugh for that.

The last thing he was able to remember clearly was his little argument with Senator "Troublemaker" Mothma. Since this young Lady had come to Coruscant a year ago he had found himself often in opposition to her. She was very idealistic and she was willing to fight for her ideals! This might cost her a lot one day, probably even her life, if she would not become a little more careful and _calmer_.

He could not remember the subject they had an argument on but he was quite sure it was not that important anyway. So why bother?

Being half-asleep he felt something nagging in his mind….

_I can't remember a thing from then on…wait...__, we got something to drink…some cocktail. Can't remember what it was. Tasted awful and extremely spicy. It has made me tired…and forgetting._

_Well, how much have I actually drunk then?_

_Too much as it seems to me now._

_No headache? Strange…. Probably because I haven't opened my eyes yet._

_I have a complete blackout on everything happened afterwards!_

He sighed aloud, nestling deeper again in his covers and his pillow. It was Sunday and actually no cause to hurry. He always woke up early in the morning, mostly even before his alarm was set, so he thought since he had not heard this alarm yet it was surely early in the morning.

_At least I made it out of my clothes,…but seemingly I didn't manage to put on my night combination. Not good._

His bed felt so strangely comfy today, unbelievable warm. Normally he shivered in the morning when waking up all alone in his bed. Today was different somehow.

_Probably an after-effect of alcohol. I need to ask Sate how much I actually drank and…what happened after I started drinking!_

A sweet scent of perfume met his nose. First he did not notice, but when he did he wondered where the scent was coming from at all. He was sure it was not his perfume…

It smelled…lighter, bloomy, and... _feminine?_

His chrono raised the alarm and in a sudden it got clear to him that something was wrong with the situation he was in right now.

Chancellor Cos Palpatine woke up with a start from his bed.

Next to him, very close, laid the awakening and also naked form of a female…


	5. Chapter 4

_**Thanks to all you readers. Please leave me a review afterwards!**_

* * *

**Chapter 4**

_This __**has to be**__ a nightmare the Dark Site sends me. It better is!_

_This can't be true!_

_Not __**her**__!_

There was no way out actually, he had to face it…or better her. The sleepy female form also started to wonder where she might was and she also sat up in a sudden; her face pale and bloodless.

"What…?" Mon Mothma whispered, covering her naked form with the blanket. Apparently she neither knew how they have brought themselves into this awkward situation. She was also negatively surprised whom she spent the night with.

_If we're both…well…naked…did we…? Have we__ had…uhm…sex? In all probability…_

"I'm not sure…"

"You neither can remember…?"

"No." He wished himself somewhere else; somewhere far away. He was so ashamed of finding himself in bed with another senator including a lack of yesterday's memory. A _special _memory.

_What if someone has seen us? Leaving together…?_

_We must have left together…how else had we come to my apartment?!_

_Did we…,well…, did we behave strange at the ball or did we just start after we…?_

"And now…?" Mon Mothma started already to scan the room for her gown. He could say that all she wanted now was leave him at once and to forget what probably happened between them last night.

_This might cost us reputation. It's at least a scandal…_

_How old is she actually? Twenty-two? Twenty-three? _

"I…get up, get dressed and…check the situation outside…. Would you please…turn around?" he felt so uncomfortable he had never felt before in his life. So ashamed, so embarrassed.

Mon Mothma nodded and turned away at once to give him a chance to stand up from bed without being seen by her. He did not find anything to cover himself so he nearly ran fast into his bathroom and locked the door. Overwhelmed by shock he leaned against the wall and sunk slowly towards the floor.

_I'd woken up to a nightmare! Not even the Dark Side had been ever so creative in sending me dreams._

_And now?_

_I can't wipe out her…not-existing memories. I can't even erase the last minutes because if just one person had seen us together he or might ask her questions and then she'll wonder…_

_No, we must handle this carefully…and together._

_Mothma surely doesn't want our little secret to come out, does she? She'll keep quiet in her own interest!_

Finally he decided to stay calm and focussed. Of course this little affair, if he would dare to call it as such, was an accident. The longer he thought about it the more he got the feeling that this accident was not really an accident but an after-effect on that drink both of them took yesterday.

Slowly he got up and headed for the shower.

* * *

He was not surprised to see her in her gown when he entered his bedroom again fully dressed for the day. Whispering he offered her to take a shower while he would make out a plan to offer her _free passage_ home. This brought a smile on her face, this little word game of his.

Hesitating she agreed to his offer and let herself introduced to one of his protocol droids that ran his household for years. He did not like the presence of human beings in his home and around him in his rarely time off from politics. So he used to have a few droids running everything for him; starting from doing the laundry to cooking.

His salon was empty and quiet. It was still early in the morning on the weekend and even his staff members stayed longer at their homes, or with their families, than usually during the week. But within a few hours it would change since even on Saturday and Sunday the Chancellors office was reachable and updating on recent events all over the galaxy. Today's schedule was a slow one; just two appointments taking place in the mid-afternoon, so Pestage would join him at home at noon.

Lots of time until then to settle and work things perfectly out for the both of them. On this issue so he was sure they would come to an agreement very fast.

Playing the good _host _and as an offer for an armistice he ordered to cups of coffee.

"Thank you" she said with a shy smile when she got her cup of coffee and sat herself down to the table in the dinning-room. She seemed to show a little interest in his interior of his private rooms barely anyone had ever stepped in. She was relatively new to the circus of politics in relation to Palpatine but she was not naïve. Both were now in a situation to get easily compromised from anyone who had recognized the situation at the ball. Someone might get suspicious why they had suddenly got into a very close _friendship_. They did not need any rumours on the _nature _of their relationship.

"We're on our own, but…the droids, so you might slip out here unnoticeable. My advisors won't be present before the 11th hour I suppose."

"I don't know what to say…what has happened?"

"Probably it is better _not _to know what we exactly did, Senator? I'd thought a little about how to handle this matter…. Did you…think about it yourself?"

"Actually I did…. We can't remember so…since there is no memory on that, it has _never _been happened then."

"Honestly that were my thoughts too" he agreed promptly. "So we agree that we kept this a secret? Never ever mention it again?"

"Yes, agree, of course. I do not want to let this come out anyway. It would cause damage to both our careers. Yours and mine."

"Well, then we go on as always."

Suddenly she stopped sipping at her cup: "Your red guards? What about them? Don't they follow you everywhere, do you?"

"By now they're in the public part of my residence. There is no harm coming from them anyway, they're sworn on me and have a contract to silence on everything that relates me."

"You don't have female company often I presume?"

He sighed but after hesitating a few moments he finally answered this very private question. It was better to play with open cards in this very moment.

"No, actually I hadn't had company or a relationship for years. Does this answer satisfy your question?"

"It does, I'm sorry. It wasn't my intention to be rude."

"Accepted; I'm not common in answering questions of personal subjects, so…"

_Stop it. Make this conversation short and small-talking. No need to be concrete on any personal subjects at all; it isn't of her matter! You don't quiz her on her relationships, do you?_

* * *

Mothma had left his apartment by led of two of his guards in civil clothes. They would take her to a private shuttle of his that would take her home. He had a lot of shuttles in handy, most of them registered by cover names. Anyone would ever found.

He was busy.

Trying to destroy any hints about what happened between them. He ordered to do laundry at once.

He had seen what had been left on the sheets. It was now quite clear to him that they had indeed been intimate tonight. Now his worst thought was about uprising memory flashes.

They would come.

Sooner or later.


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

His bed no longer felt like his bed. It would never feel that way as it had before. He had avoided going to bed early on Sunday night to catch up some rest and for minimize his recent lack of sleep. Instead he waited to be overthrown by tiredness but since his thoughts were rooming in his mind, teasing him, he did not even felt the tiniest bit of an upcoming exhaustion.

Acting in front of his advisors as if nothing had happened was easy for him, but he also got suspicious if someone of them might have seen something that had not been for their eyes. But Pestage kept silent.

No questions, but also no conversation about last night's ball at all.

After the event he had to tell that his advisor had indeed _recognized _his odd behaviour yesterday, but did not mention it to keep privacy.

He was just a man after all. A simple human being behind the mask of a Sithlord or the beloved Chancellor. A man with needs.

They probably supposed to add his strange behaviour and his night with a female senator to his little affairs that had to be hidden before the public but would not last for very long.

Normally he had always arranged that he had been the one who had been left by the women. This was easier to handle because the ladies would not contact him on their own incentive later on. He had played the heart broken part of the relationship quite well every time it was needed. No scandals.

_But this here had been no affair at all!_

_Mothma and I didn't act of affection but because of alcohol…or even drugs. It was a One-Night-Stand the actors can't even remember!_

_We can try to act normal, but __**this night **__will always be present between us. It'll poison any good communication even from the beginning._

He sighed loudly and finally sat on his bed. The place of his doom.

Their doom.

_I suppose we can't erase the event, but we must understand it._

_We need memories to end a non-existing relationship._

Palpatines plan was finally set. A simple plan, but pretty effective for the both of them if Mothma agreed to cooperate. By instinct he was sure she would, and just after he had sent her a message via his com to her private estate he got an answer back. The senator supported his plans.

_She isn't able to forget as well. If we don't learn what exactly happened, if we don't reconstruct yesterday's events minute by minute, we aren't capable of finishing this. _

Now everything he had to do was pumping Pestage without getting caught or getting to much attention. Pestage knew him well, quite too well in this case, but he had also been a trustfully friend to him. For decades.

* * *

"I'd covered your departure with her as best as possible" Pestage finally told him. First his friend had denied recognizing the Chancellor's upcoming affection for a certain very young female senator from Chandrila, but finally he had nodded. When observing that the woman his master seemed to desire for the night was supporting his actions he just went on with covering.

"We'd led you out the hall unnoticed. Why didn't you mentioned before that Mothma and you were…well…"

Palpatine waved a hand to make him stop speaking. This was enough to learn for now. He had a lot to work with; some information quite valuable.

A treasure.

"May I ask you a question?" Pestage suddenly started again.

The Chancellor looked startled in his direction. He was well aware what might come. People were always interested in other people's intimacy and private life; Pestage was not different!

"As a friend or my advisor?"

"I start with friend first, maybe I don't need that advisor's option."

"Well, go on" he tried to force a smile on his thin lips, but failed. For sure Pestage was able to read him correctly and look behind his mask easily.

"Is _this _ongoing?"

"Name _this_, please."

"Mothma. Is this a serious matter that needs special arrangements for you?"

* * *

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_


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

There were days in which he fully understood Master Kenobi in keeping Anakin Skywalker down on earth. The boy could be a pain in the neck. If there was anything that did not went well for the Padawan he instantly started to act childish and foolish, mostly in addition to grumbling.

And it was often enough the Chancellor to listen to Anakin's grumblings. Of course Anakin's disliking on a few of the Order's most important tasks would be very welcome when turning him later, but that day was yet far away- and sometimes he was wondering if this day would finally come at all!

Tonight the Padawan was mocking on Kenobi's concern about his so called attachment to a certain senator, formerly Queen to Naboo, Padme Amidala.

Fact was Anakin had not seen nor spoken to Amidala since he had been 9 years old; nonetheless the Padawan was admiring her and seemed to be obviously in love.

_In love to a person he doesn't know. Amidala is no girl anymore, but a woman. A respected senator I need to add. She wouldn't even feel flattered…__, would she?_

He sighed and took a deep sip from his wine. Alcohol made this evening as all the others with Anakin easier to stand.

Sometimes it felt to him like parentage not mentorship anymore, but that would also lead him to forbidden paths since attachment was not well seen at the Sith Order as well. It was accepted, yes, as a necessity, but every Sith was told to keep it low, even to his or her own family.

He was no spouse, no father; he was nothing to anyone. His very own family members were just a few far related ones back on Naboo to which he did not stay in touch with. A few months ago his cousin Valpaun passed by. When He had learnt he ordered his body back to Naboo, but he was not present at his funeral.

_There has been no connection once, there will be none. In this case I'm like Anakin. I have nobody to call family beside my order. Different is he craves for one, I do not!_

"Sir? You ok?"

Palpatine recognized that he had indeed shut his eyes and had a little nap while his young visitor had still went on in his stories.

"I'm sorry, my young friend, but I had not had time to calm down and rest lately. Days in office are long and here, at home,…" he sighed apologetically.

"You're not married, are you? Or have been?"

Surprised about this more than personal question made him open his mouth. The boy had not dare to ask him such before; he didn't seemed to be interested in it though, so why now that question?

Palpatine forced a little smile on his lips.

"Well" he hesitated as if looking for the perfect words although these were already chosen, "No, I'd never been. I'd also never been engaged nor living with my partner in life. Why are you asking?"

"You're sad…all the time I'd known you, Sir" the teenager replied shyly, "First I'd thought it was just a matter of time, but that feeling had worsen a lot in the last few years."

"Indeed? Has it?" Palpatine was not even aware of owning such regret or sadness, but nonetheless the Padawan was the opinion to feel somewhat related to these.

_Nonsense!_

"I'm sorry if I'd been…"

"No, no, Anakin, go on" the Chancellor requested the young boy, "You're one of the very few that are still honest to me. I appreciate it…"

Anakin hesitated a few heart beats long. He seemed not to be sure if daring to speak freely at all or if it was just an offer the Chancellor told him to only be friendly and open.

"Well,…you'd never seen with any female…within the last years."

"Sly Moore…"

"She isn't that _female_, is she?"

"I see, now I know what you're telling me: female companionship?" Palpatine tried to leave that frozen smile on his lips.

"Companionship or relationship. May I speak freely?"

The Chancellor chuckled: "I thought you already did."

_I suppose I do know by now what you're about to say. I'd heard the rumours about me too: I was supp__osed to be gay or probably impotent, since I refuse to date for years._

_Honestly I haven't dated because I didn't want to become involved in any rumours, but sadly this made me an issue!_

Out of a sudden the boy seemed to be ashamed because talking about something personal that was not actual his business quite openly. Nonetheless Palpatine did not feel uncomfortable at all; it was just a little confusing to him discussing such subjects with a barely grown up!

_Anakin is 16. What can a 16 year old teenager teach me? __Especially a Padawan?_

Finally Anakin decided to go on: "People were talking a lot, Sire,…but I'm sure you're well aware of that…but that is probably because they haven't seen you with females at all. Is there…uhm…anyone?"

Palpatine forced that smile to stretch his lips to a grin: "Well, yes I hadn't been seen with female companionship for a long time, but,…well, no, that doesn't mean there is not anyone for me. I personally prefer to keep my private life a secret. It might be hard to understand but,…living in relationships at my age and especially in my position is quite a challenge."

"So there is someone. A female?"

Palpatine just felt himself nodding as an answer.

_And who is this supposed to be??_


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

_Obviously I am in trouble! I__ can't nod to Anakin as a positive answer as if there is someone who…_

_Well, there is actually nobody! Mothma had been more or less a faux pas, a mistake…made in a weak moment of mine. Or us._

_There is no "we", there will never be!_

He poured himself another glass of wine; his fifth tonight, but it did not matter him at all, since all he wanted now was forgetting the recent events. Events that had crushed his life out of a sudden and left it into a thousand of pieces. It was on him to put them together again.

After Padawan Skywalker finally left he felt his anger rising; anger that was caused by himself speaking freely about something that did not even exist! It was strange to him that it nonetheless felt somewhat good to talk about a relationship. He never did that before and he planned to never do it again.

Another deep sip did not bring oblivion; it just made him focussing and remembering that night and morning again.

* * *

"A kiss.

The sweetest lips he had ever felt upon his own. A warm body next to him, hot but naked skin on skin. The incredible feeling of being one with another human being.

Lust.

Need.

Satisfaction."

* * *

_What in Darth Bane's name was that?_

_A memory flashback? It must be. This kind of intensity of lovemaking had never crossed my way so far…_

_STOP IT!!_

He took another deep sip of wine and began to pour himself a last glass to empty the bottle. It appeared to him that he was drunk, but that fact did not lighten his mood, but made it even more hurting.

These last days had been a complete horror trip to him, and for sure also for Senator Mothma. He remembered that she did not look straight at him, as she normally had done, while they had met today in a committee appointment. Before…this all went wrong between them. He was able to feel her discomfort and shame. They were trapped in their emotions; both of them.

_Even I am not invulnerable by emotions,…and feelings. I actually __**do**__ feel…but this is nobody's business but mine._

_Feelings and emotions are for the weak._

_I can be weak._

_Today I am._

_I am since the night we spent together began, since she invaded unwillingly my privacy. She'd seen me, my body, she'd been closer to me than anyone else in years, probably decades. While these few hours together she had hold my heart in her hands,…I had been totally unconscious, out of control. Like she'd been too._

_We'd led by hormones, pheromones…whatever. _

_Desire?_

Mothma had agreed to meet him tomorrow afternoon in his estate at Republica 500. At home. The place where their fate had ended after a night of pleasure.

_I suppose it had somehow…pleased…us in that very moment. But,…well,…pleasure belongs to passion. Although passion is related to the Dark Site I'm pretty much sure the Masters __**did not mean **__that kind of passion, did they?_

A service unit removed the empty bottle from his desk in his study where he spent the rest of the evening. Anakin Skywalker had troubled and confused the Dark Lord just by asking questions. He should not have answered him, but somewhat deep inside him had taken control over him and had made him open his mouth.

Darth Sidious knew that there was another point onto his priority list, set on top of all: Gaining back control over himself!

* * *

The moment she entered his private rooms in his home something unnamed changed. He did not know what this change caused but he could feel it momentarily.

_I can't ask her, I can not!_

That change made him feel numb. It broke his connection to the dark site, but opened another door to let in feelings Palpatine had buried deep down in his cold heart for very long lonely years.

With all his willpower he fought back and gained control at least for a weak moment. His mind was not willingly focussing on why his guest was here but on other more intimate issues. The Chancellor got himself caught when looking up and down the Senators slim figure, his eyes resting definitively to long onto her female features. Normally he was not interested in such a thing, especially not when his co-senators were involved, but this time his body reacted on its own and he just stood next to himself watching helplessly what happened without being able to control.

_Get focussed…! Get focussed! Her beauty is not your matter! And it is not yours to…what am I thinking?_

_She…I…no, no,…stop it- this goes totally wrong!_

"Senator Mothma, thank you again for accepting my invitation" he greeted her friendly putting a light smile onto his lips.

"It is for the better if we solve this situation together" she started, her voice just a whisper. Her face was emotionless, until their eyes met.

A moment too long to be justified.

Suddenly a shy smile appeared on her tender lips.

He sent his guards away. This was a private matter, something between the Senator and him. They did not need witnesses.

* * *

The intention was a good one, the result was a disaster; worse than their first night together.

Playing the events an extra time…

Both knew they would do everything just to understand what really happened that evening. How they were able to end together in bed making love.

They had remembered dancing together after drinking that cocktail. They remembered the talking, the laughing, even the flirting.

Palpatine felt himself relaxing in her arms. Having her body so unbelievable close to him was incredible. It was as if sparkles were flying between them. He smelt her perfume, the tenderness of her skin as they stepped nearer…her hand so delicate, so soft.

They lost control again. Desire consumed them without giving them even a glimpse of a change to escape.

A passionate kiss followed the first shy one.

While Mothma had already lost her mind, Palpatine was able to register this last moment before even he had to capitulate totally towards an upcoming fog in his brain.

_Drugs!_

_We were…are drugged! _


	9. Chapter 8

_Thanks to Ansketil for doing the BETA part!_

* * *

**Chapter 8**

He lay awake in his bed afterwards. Next to him was the sleeping form of young Senator Mon Mothma cuddling in his sheets, her body pressed against his. Since his mind was stronger than that of the Senator, he had become conscious of what had happened almost immediately after the evening's activities.

Even worse than realizing what they just had done was the fact that he indeed had liked and enjoyed it. He had not been kissed that passionately for long years; he had not experienced a night so intense for decades. They had acted like any other loving couple despite the fact that they were not a couple or even friends.

He stared at the ceiling, closed his eyes, opened them again, and sighed. Their situation was now even worse than before. Having slept together again meant that something in their brains was not working the right way. As if there had been a change in their mental programming after the ball.

_There are actually a few possibilities that have caused this fatal situation:_

_A drug._

_A mental one._

_A drug that burns the partner's scent into the other one's brain…to make…_

_Well, I suppose I do know who'd give it to us…!_

_They'd just accidentally been given a dose to high. They wanted us to talk without arguing and instead they made us fall for each other. And if I'm informed correctly this is not…_

_It is not…_

_It'll stay._

_Forever._

_I'll find her attractive, sexual attractive, for the rest of my life. The same will be true for her._

_We can't do anything about it!_

Another sigh left his lips. Mothma's body was warm, her skin so soft. It felt too good for him to even dare fleeing from her arms. Sidious was offended by Palpatine's lack of rebellion when faced with the prospect of upcoming feelings for an individual that would very soon stand in their way, was doing so right now in fact. While Palpatine fell exhausted into a light sleep, Sidious was making plans how to get rid of the female in the morning without hurting her feelings too much. Tonight, Palpatine and Sidious were two different beings; with probably two very different opinions.

* * *

In the morning it was him again who was awake first. Slowly and without making a sound he freed himself from her sleeping form, got up and made his way to the bathroom. While taking a long hot shower he thought about the pros and cons of inviting his night-time companion to a breakfast. It was quite early in the morning and a lot of work was waiting for him. But Mon and him also had a lot to work out. They had not made progress yesterday evening because the drug had taken over their minds and bodies. Hopefully she was not in too bad a mood after last night's activities.

Socialising might be a way for both of them to alleviate this bad situation. They urgently needed to handle their problem. It would not be solved by ignoring it again and attempting to return to normality. _There was no normality!_ Things would never again be the normal they had been used to. Everything had changed. Someone, probably the Ambassador of Naboo or one of his allies, had put this drug into their glasses that forced their minds to change. Ambassador Ighfer had never liked him, a fact he had just learnt as Senator of his home planet a few years ago, and so it was no wonder that there was his name standing on a certain Death List he kept in his mind until the time was right.

After changing into formal clothes, he had just entered his bedroom again when Mon Mothma was looking for her gown. He noticed her shivering, her mind working fast to understand what had happened again.

"It is a drug" he whispered in her direction.

Mon looked up: "A drug?"

"Some mind-changing substance; but I suppose they've given us an overdose."

"Who'd give…?"

He sighed: "I'm not quite sure but… well… I suspect the Ambassador of Naboo. He's involved in far too many of the issues we've had differences over lately."

"Indeed. And so he'd decided to poison us to make us stop arguing? How long will this drug cloud our brains?"

"I have my suspicions about a certain drug, and if I can prove it is this one, then, well…it won't change."

Mon asked him to turn around so she could put on her dress while they went on speaking. He felt her uneasiness; she was ashamed to the core. A one-night-stand could happen. But it would happen just once and not twice!

"How to prove it?"

"I need a blood sample from you. Together with a sample of my own blood we can ask a medic to look for the leftovers of the toxin. This might not help us out of the situation but it would become clear what exactly is playing with us."

She sighed deeply, but kept still. After a quiet minute she began to speak again.

"I got several flashbacks from…, you know, in the last few days. Did you also…?"

He nodded: "Yes, I did. They mostly cause me to be taken aback in situations in which I don't need them."

Finally, he offered her breakfast and a cup of coffee or tea or whatever she would chose to drink in the morning. The young Senator accepted. "Well then, I suppose you might like to have a shower first while I arrange breakfast? You can send one of the service units to help you out with everything necessary."

"Thank you" her smile was friendly and open-hearted and forced a smile onto his thin, bloodless lips.

"You're welcome, Mon. Tea, coffee? Anything else?"

"Coffee, please."

"Very well; I'll be in my study for the time being."

"It's early in the morning, barely 0600…"

"Time doesn't bother most Senators; I get calls long after midnight and even on public holidays. Nobody cares…" he sighed, turned around, and left the bedroom.

* * *

Indeed, his Com Unit showed calls from a few dozen senators and representatives; there was also a call from the Ambassador of Naboo, the man who probably poisoned them. Mon and himself would take blood samples immediately; just before today's breakfast. He always stored a few sticks for blood samples in his medical kit since he used to go for a regular medical check up several times per year. They would learn about the toxin within a few hours. When they finally know what had messed up their brains they would also perhaps be able to find out who it was exactly made them unwillingly ingest it. Sidious knew he would ensure that the offender paid for every single second he had been under its toxic influence.

There were a few messages on several changes in today's schedule he just read over when Mon Mothma stood knocking on the door to his study; her red hair damp, her face without makeup and with the most beautiful smile on her lips he had ever seen in his life.

"I don't think we've greeted each other today, so…good morning."

"Oh, well, I'm sorry. Good morning, of course."

He asked her to come in and make herself comfortable in one of the sofas. Mon seemed to be quite interested in his private rooms, but this was quite natural to him. He kept his home as private as he kept his personal life. He lived purely for his job and barely visited any private events, so it was said behind his back. There were seldom guests at his estate at Republica 500. Rumours went on for years that he probably suffered some special social phobia, avoiding any company at all, especially after becoming Chancellor. When he was a Senator he preferred to stay home and work while his fellow senators were dancing and having fun all night long at all those parties and balls. Of course he visited a few events to socialize and connect and to form interest groups, but he did not make close friends with others.

"Is there a reason why you prefer to keep your private quarters all in red?"

"Pardon?"

"I was just wondering…all your rooms, or rather all the rooms I've seen, are all decorated in red. Your favourite colour I presume."

He was surprised; was she trying to make small talk or was she really wondering why he had gotten used to a special _colour_?

"Red is a bright colour, full of warmth. It is also the colour for passion."

He bit his tongue. He should not have said that last sentence, but it was too late.

"Passion, eh?" she grinned "So you are a _passionate _man then?"

Mon Mothma came nearer. Step by step. Very slowly.

He did absolute nothing to make her stop. Indeed, it was quite interesting watching her being driven by the toxin while he apparently was still…or _was_ he?

"Mon, we better…"

He suddenly stopped. Was this really the poison, the toxin, in their brains? Or was there more than there should be between them? Feeling her presence so near was making him feel…_weak_. His heart beat started rising again, he was sweating, but instead of feeling unwell he somewhat felt comfortable.

Mon was climbing onto his lab: "What if this is the best we can do now?"

"What?"

She pressed her hot lips onto his, kissed him even more deeply and passionately than they had done while devouring each other last night. He did not dare to refuse to answer her mouth.

"Give in…" was finally her reply.


End file.
